7 Reasons "Daddy Likes Beer" Deserves a Nobel Prize in Literature

I am the person who lists the products on the Sprecher website, and this time of year, I am typing up listings until my fingers bleed. There is so much new stuff in the Sprecher Catalog to choose from, which is great! Click here to see what's new.

The problem is, sometimes really good stuff gets lost in the fray. 

Today, I want to right that wrong and highlight an underrated pick. The ultimate stocking stuffer. A small book for children aged 3-300 by local genius Mike Lukaszewicz. 

This book tells a tale which has been true since time immemorial: "Daddy Likes Beer." 

It goes without saying that you should buy this book as a stocking stuffer for the Daddies in your life. But I think this book deserves more. As such, I am going to present my case that this book deserves a Nobel Prize in Literature. 

What's the deal with the Nobel Prize in Literature?

Alfred Nobel invented dynamite and made his money as an arms dealer. The story goes that when his brother passed prematurely, some newspapers made a mistake and published Alfred's obituary instead. Alfred's obituary was not exactly a glowing review of his life and times, so he decided to rehabilitate his image by creating the Nobel Prize to reward those who do good for the world.

According to Wikipedia, Nobel wanted the Nobel Prize in Literature to be awarded to a candidate who provided "the greatest benefit to mankind" and wrote their literature in "an idealistic direction." The prize is typically awarded to someone based on their life's work, but exceptions have been made for authors with an individual outstanding work that the Nobel Prize Committee deemed worthy of recognition.

The Nobel Prize via Wikimedia Commons (CC BY-SA 4.0)

I don't know about all that, but who cares? Nobel sold explosives for a living. What did he know about idealism and the benefit of humankind? 

In complete and willful ignorance of the guidelines set forth by the Nobel Prize Committee, I am going to propose 7 reasons why "Daddy Likes Beer" is worthy of the prize.

1. Daddy Does Like Beer

I think this book speaks to a greater human truth, which is that dads do like beer. Enough said.

Beer! It's the thing that dad likes.

2. The Plot Twist

No spoilers, but this book has as many plot twists as an M. Night Shyamalan move. That is, one big one at the end. If we as a society have agreed to award M. Night Shyamalan with $80 million, surely we can give Mike Lukaszewicz a Nobel Prize in Literature, which is worth a measly $1 million (or 11 million fake Swedish dollars). 

M. Night Shyamalan, inventor of the plot twist. via Wikimedia Commons (CC BY-SA 3.0)

3. The Book is Short

Most prior winners of the Nobel Prize in Literature have written books that are literally tens, hundreds, or even thousands of pages. Who the heck has time for that? Modern problems require modern solutions, and our problem is that most of us barely have time to watch a friggin' TikTok on the toilet. 

Don't worry. Mike Lukaszewicz has us covered with the certified banger "Daddy Likes Beer." This book is a short king clocking in at just a handful of pages. 

4. The Book is Approved by 5/5 Thirsty Dads

Mike's website claims that this book is approved by 5/5 thirsty dads. "The Grapes of Wrath" hasn't been approved by even one thirsty dad, and John Steinbeck doesn't have a personal website either. So why did Steinbeck win a Nobel Prize and Mike hasn't? I bet Steinbeck doesn't even talk about wine, much less beer. But I never read his book because I heard there's hardly any grapes in it.

Let's be honest - not even John Steinbeck read this book. via Wikimedia Commons 

5. This Book has Pictures

With pictures and words, this book incorporates at least two art forms. Name a Nobel prizewinning book that has pictures in it. I bet you can't. If you can, don't comment--that's not what this is about, and I don't want to hear it.

6. The Book is Made out of Cardboard

Canadian communications theorist Marshall McLuhan once said that "the medium is the message," and the message that this book is sending is that it is made out of cardboard. Whereas other books are made out of sad, flimsy paper, this is a book with some weight to it.

Who among the Nobel prizewinners has had the courage to experiment with a bold new medium? Gabriel García Márquez would be shaking in his boots. These stuffy literati are too obsessed with their esoteric wordplay to realize that the common dad on the street demands cardboard!

7. "Daddy Likes Beer" is Just Begging to be Adapted into a Movie Starring Pedro Pascal

We all know that Perdo Pascal is America's daddy, and he would just slay in a film adaptation of "Daddy Likes Beer." I wonder what Pedro's favorite beer is, don't you? We all sure would like to find out. We're all sick of the remakes, let's get a compelling original movie where Pedro Pascal likes beer! 

Pedro "Daddy" Pascal via Wikimedia Commons (CC BY-SA 3.0)

In all humility, it would probably be a straight-to-DVD movie, which is devastating in the streaming era. Still, remember the competition--how many Octavio Paz books have straight-to-DVD movie potential? I for one literally do not know.

Conclusion

Back to my thesis statement: why the heck haven't you bought this book yet? When Mike Lukaszewicz inevitably wins the Nobel Prize in Literature thanks to my airtight petition to the Nobel Prize Committee, the Dad in your life will thank you because you bought him the book before it was cool. Even though it already is cool. It's just that we're the only ones who are in on the secret so far.

Click here to buy the book!!